Biologically, men come to a boil and spill over very quickly, while women simmer slowly but can stay hot for hours. How to coordinate these off-kilter rhythms?

• Circle for forty-five minutes. After about forty-five min­utes of loveplay, both your bodies undergo a physiological shift — his insistent tension relaxes into eroticism, and your body heats up and blooms voluptuously. So try to make the initial stages of lovemaking last longer. Divert atten­tion from his throbbing appendage by massaging his upper body, sucking his toes, or offering your succulent oyster to his lips. After about three-quarters of an hour, your rhythms will be more deeply in sync.
• Squeeze. Use the squeeze technique during foreplay or intercourse to postpone his moment of inevitability. This gives you a chance to catch up and also builds him to a peak of rapture he’ll want to scale again in the future.
• Use erotic logic. Outside of the bedroom, explain to him that the longer it takes, the hotter you get, and that with patient stalking and the bait of his long, slow kisses, he can coax your animal lust out of its cage to attack him with wild abandon.

Start your motor running early. Steal time on the bus ride home or while doing the dishes to think about how his long sensitive fingers make electricity run through your veins. Simmer over your own delicate fire all day if you can. Touch yourself lovingly, admiring your soft curves and secret places, building waves of orgasmic plea­sure that can wash over you almost as soon as he touches your hand.

Use the afterglow. The magical moments after peak ecstasy are an ideal time to balance uneven rhythms and build deeper intimacy. To prolong and enhance your own rapture, bask in the waves of pleasure that continue after orgasm, mentally rolling them through your limbs, belly, heart, and head. And while he is rapidly drifting off to dreamland, imprint your bewitching touches on his sub­conscious: Keep him cozy inside you and give an occa­sional PC squeeze; massage or lightly scratch his back; nuzzle and lick his neck; whisper how divine he made you feel and how much you loved it when he did that teasing-withdrawing-thrusting thing. Let him doze for about ten to twenty minutes, maintaining skin contact to keep the feel of love alive. Then gently awaken him and ask what he was dreaming about. These are the moments, both of you softened and saturated with bliss, when you can shape his sexual persona to fit yours like a silky glove.

The trick to driving a man wild in bed is simply to trigger your own intoxicating passion first. Bold, seductive, and adventurous, you become an irresistible bea­con of sensuality that guides both you and your man to dis­cover a new intensity in yourselves and your lovemaking. By daring “to risk your body and your blood and your mind, your known self and to become more and more the self you could never have known or expected,” you find at last your true and magnificent genius as a woman and a lover.

Keywords: admiring soft curves, after orgasm, afterglow, bliss, deeper intimacy, erotic logic, love alive, loveplay, massaging his upper body, peak ecstasy, sexual, squeeze, stay hot, sucking toes, synchronize his rhythm with yours, touch yourself, trigger passion, woman lover

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  Amanda says:

  I experimented with “”starting my motor” early and it actually works!!

  October 4, 2009 at 7:39 am