Get him to do what you like in bed!

Men, who are built to strive for and attain goals, usually don’t know how to enjoy the journey. Especially when it comes to sex, their bodies and minds become even more firm and single-pointed. We women, on the other hand, open up in the act of making love, inviting penetration, emotion, and revelation to course through our flesh and hearts.

It’s up to us, then, as keepers of the mysteries of love, to initiate our men into the secrets of their own sensuality, and to train them in the arts of romance, foreplay, and deeply erotic lovemaking. We need to encourage them to be explorers rather than armored warriors; to brandish a Magic Wand instead of a Big Showy Sword. We need to wield the power we have always had, but seldom used, to mold our men into the lovers of our dreams.

Tell him. Men are basically mystified, so simple instructions are appreciated. At the same time, though, they recoil from too much direction. So couch your suggestions in sincere flattery, love, and even humor. You might say, “Mmmm, I love that. And it’s even more sensitive a little to the right . . . Oh, yesssss!” Or “I adore having you inside, but let’s wait until I can’t bear it anymore.”

Act as if he’s already done it. Rave about how good it was, how much it turned you on, how you can’t wait for more. Glow with satisfaction.

Move his hands. Place them exactly where you’d like them to be, even interlocking your fingers with his to assist in getting the right pressure, speed, and direction. Then moan to let him know how fantastic it feels.

Move your body. Be bold. If you want him to pay more attention to your breasts, graze your nipple across his lips. If you crave deeper G-spot stimulation, flip yourself over and offer him the tantalizing rear entry that provides it. Reinforce his responses with sighs and screams of delight.

Read him “customized” erotica. Wonderful as foreplay reading him a hot passage that describes your wished-for activity — even changing the names to yours — can bring about immediate and sizzling success.

Write him a note. Send him a card or leave a note on his pillow that titillates him with the very thing that you crave: “Can’t wait to feel your caress on the curve of my thigh” or “The memory of your teeth on my neck, your throat growling with passion, it’s driving me mad.”

Respond vociferously. Whenever he does something good, overdo your acknowledgment. Moan, shiver, scream, pant, whisper “Yessss,” undulate, and compliment him afterward. It can take him a while to get the idea.

Tell him you had a dream. Confide in him that during the night, you dreamt he lifted your sweater and circled your nipple with his tongue, endlessly. It made you so excited that you woke up craving him desperately. Caress him to prove it. The next time you make love, don’t be surprised if he follows your dream script to the letter.

Make erotic deals. With his shivering member cradled in your hand, tell him you’ll give him the hottest oral sex of his life if first he massages your G-spot until you come. Or he can have a quickie now, but you get long, luxurious bathplay later. In the art of erotic deal-making, remember that: you always have what he wants and your negotiating power is increased if your hand, mouth, or velvety vulva is in close touch with the brainstem between his legs.

Use the power of orgasm. During the ecstasy of climax, we are in a hypnotic and highly suggestible state of openness. It’s then that your ideas and desires can fly directly into his subconscious and lodge there, to resurface as brilliant inspirations on his part the next time you’re together. If at the moment of his orgasm, you concentrate on an image of his massaging your labial lips in the tantalizing circles you adore, you can create a self-fulfilling prophecy for future lovemaking.

Keywords: breasts, caress, ecstasy of climax, erotic deal, erotic love making, G-spot, get him do what you like in bed, glow satisfaction, initiate man, inviting penetration, moan, move his hand, move your body, mysteries of love, nipple across his lips, oral sex, orgasm, passion, read erotica, scream, screams of delight, secrets sensuality, shiver, simple instruction, vulva, write him note